"People get their hearts broken. Losers get their hearts broken inadvertantly."
i just woke up...no, not from a dream, but from a memory. that's not normal. it's intensely weird, actually. to spare all the emo padding i find myself doing in posts, it's like this: apparently i'm dreaming about ---- now. only, these aren't fantasy-dreams, these are more like a highlight reel of our best moments over the last 2 years. now, you've gotta understand: the last day i saw her, i erased her phone numbers, old text messages, and all pictures of her/us together from my phone, e-mail, myspace...damn near everything. seeing her hurts because, as bumfuck retarded as it sounds, i was in some sort of love with her. i seriously tried HARD to just erase her from my life and, up until now, it worked. but...christ, seeing her in my dreams shook me so much i woke up shaking...and i promise i'll stop sleeping if it means not seeing her anymore. i just can't deal with that shit. i'm all fucked up enough with all of this other shit as it is.
in short: i miss her so fucking much, but i don't want to.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"
ok, but what do you do when the lemonade you make turns out to be nasty as fuck?
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