after-thought.

on a positive note, i sparked the most vicious police vs. eastern european gunfight in the history of GTA IV. the AI on that game is astoundingly lifelike. i mean, people were running for cover, the cops were calling in back up, the europeans were noticeably more violent and rougher than the cops...it lasted like 10 minutes...coolest in-game shit ever and i caused it. lol...spoke to my inner nerd.

idk.

CAUTION: i'm about to complain a lot. also, this is more of a vent than a somewhat structured entry, so it may come off as such and, therefore, be difficult to follow. maybe.

i need direction. it seems like there's more wrong with me than there is right half of the time. the way i look seems to make girls like me like europeans liked the bubonic plague, the way i approach life/the way i think of things/the things i care about/the things i don't care about/my godlessness hurts my mother, my work ethic is shitty, i seem to have an inherent intellectual superiority complex that i have to keep in check, and i'm more self-centered than i'd like to be. just all kinds of fucked up.

it's not that i've never noticed before, it's just that it gets to me sometimes. like, realizing that most girls are going "HELL no" in their minds waaaaay before i scrape up any semblance of the courage needed to say hi? that shit's hard to deal with, and i'm sick of people saying that that's not the case. i've seen that shit first hand, plus people have this thing about talking about me around me and assuming that i'm partially deaf. then of course my attitude toward shit is shitty. not caring about shit just makes my mom sad. and i HATE the fact that she's losing sleep over me, mother or not.

the thing about that is, i don't know how to go about changing it. i don't know if i want to change it. i just don't know in general. i can't decide if i want to try and improve my appearance or just commit to my ugliness and go full-on freak show. i can't decide if i want to try and change for the better or just say FUCK IT and go about my own business. i'm in this "i don't know" rut, basically. fueled by poor self-image, heartlessness, intensely anti-social behavior, and whatever else is going on here.

y'know, i thought venting would make me feel better, but reading over this i just feel like some angsty teenaged stereotype.

fucking great time to be out of weed. i need an escape, and music doesn't always work fast enough.

[fuck].

boobs.4

i wish women didn't take boob compliments adversely.

"did you do something new with your hair? it looks nice!"

"thanks!"

"is that a new bra? it looks nice!"

*SLAP*

i'm just sayin...

[amiwrong]?

positive.

i really would like to talk about my week in depth, but i'm also really trying to stay positive, so i'm not going to talk about my week. well, i can talk about my sister, she came over this week. that was positive. we saw g.i. joe, that was positive. she had to leave early. whoops, negative. ok, ok...re-do. uh...met some new rappers this week. positive. uh....well...yea, that's it. =/

[on another menu...]

i really need to get on this job thing. i need money for: recording equipment, a guitar, a keyboard, guitar/keyboard accessories, studio headphones (well, i guess that goes with recording equipment), a new bike wheel, clothes, shoes, i'm trying to restart my book collection, ps3 games, a new ipod, a new PHONE, weed, gardening tools, a new camera, CDs, a new flash drive (though i did just boost this nice 4 gig from wal-mart...don't judge me.), and a lot of other shit. not to mention money for the big things like a car, college, housing, college, college...yea, that shit's gonna be expensive. my sib's working on getting her funds straight for college right now and i can see that it's a hassle. not looking forward to that. though i am looking forward to college in general. can't wait til spring.

[in other news...]

well, no. no other news. time to kick back and whoop ass on MK vs. DC.

[outtius].

YOU.

are a fucking hypocrite.

this is intended for one person, and one person only. if you feel that this applies to you though, get your life together.

[werd].

and let it [_____].

touch! and no, not the upbeat sex described by one Mr. Grandberry, i'm talking about the pending love of my cellular life: the LG enV Touch.

after an hour and a half or so of phone browsing (i'm eligible for a full upgrade as of 7/30), i decided that: A) i'm going to stick with verizon, simply because they really haven't done me wrong service-wise; and B) the enV Touch is crack, plain and simple. now, why don't i have this phone yet? because (big SMH moment here) my mom's buying it for me. well, idk if it's really that bad in general, but i like to buy my own shit when i can (i bought my last phone). that way no one can tell me what to do with it, or use it as leverage in some future argument or whatever. of course, she's not gonna just buy it for me just because my current phone is an ailing piece of shit, i have to work for it. what does that work entail? I WISH I FUCKING KNEW. i asked her DAYS ago to just give me a list of all the shit i need to do around the house so that i can get a new phone and ditch the old one ASAP because, frankly, it's gonna go out any day now. her response? "i'll think about it." great. that was monday. to be clear, my impatience isn't so much because i want that phone in particular, it's just that i'm sincerely in need of a new functioning phone. that just happens to be the best one out (IMO) for just $100. so i'm not being all butt-hurt because i want a fancy phone. i'm also aware that a cell phone in general is not particularly a necessity, but it's becoming more so in the labor force as a more reliable contact source. i mean...well, idk. it's just a pain not to have one these days.

[/rant].

4 + 2 - 1 + (-1) - 5 + 8 x 5 - 15 / 3 - 31.[things]

(i really need to stop with these...)

You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the 3's of YOU. At the end, choose 20 people to be tagged.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 3's of Me, tag 20 people - in the right hand corner of the app - then click publish.)

Three names I go by:
1. Kevin Wright (real)
2. Alex Parker (stage)
3. KvnTheTruth (former stage name)

Three Jobs I have had in my life

(i gotta get creative with my answers cuz uh...i've only had one official job and it wasn't even legit)
1. Phat Headz Barbershop - Sweeping/General Maintenance...janitor (fired by my grandma)
2. Vector Marketing Corporation - Sales Rep. (fired after 3 days due to lack of funds, go figure)
3. Rapper/Entertainer (working on that now)

Three Places I have lived
1. CA
2. GA
3. in my head

Three Favorite drinks
1. Water
2. Peach Juice
3. Kool-Aid (pink, blue, yellow, and orange mainly.)

Three TV Shows that I watch when I get to watch
1. Dexter (Showtime
2. Entourage (HBO)
3. True Blood (HBO)

Three places I have been
1. Texas
2. Chicago
3. Florida

People that text me regularly
regularly?...uh...damn. last text i got was days ago...from my mom. =/
1.
2.
3.

Three of my favorite foods.
1. Chicken
2. Chicken
3. Chicken

Three friends I think will respond
yea...uh.....

1.
2.
3.

Three things I am looking forward to
1. working on my music
2. working on my graphics (photoshop)
3. working on my photography

my life, according to.[The Beatles]

Hello my friends... I thought you might actually enjoy this (or I would enjoy your answers), so I tagged you. You were not chosen at random, so please play along. :)

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick Your Artist:
The Beatles

Are you Male or Female?

I Wanna Be Your Man

Describe yourself:
I'm a Loser

How do you feel:
I Feel Fine

Describe where you currently live:
Yellow Submarine in Pepperland

If you could go anywhere where would you go:
Across the Universe

Your favorite form of transportation is:
Flying

Your best friend is:
Rocky Raccoon

You and your best friends are:
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

What's the Weather Like?
Rain

What is your favorite time?
Any Time at All

If your life was a TV show what would it be called?
A Shot of Rhythm and Blues

What is Life to you?
No Reply

Your last relationship:
You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

Your fear:
The End

What is the best advice you have to give?
Act Naturally

Thought for the day:
Happiness is a Warm Gun

How would I like to die?
When I'm Sixty-Four

My Soul's present condition:
Ooh! My Soul

My motto:
I'm Looking Through You

shit else to do, i don't have.

You can only use an answer 1 time! (no copying) All answers must start with your last initial! Its harder than you think!

You can only use an answer 1 time!

1. What is your last name ?...............Wright

2. 4 letter word...................word

3. Vehicle: ................................ winnebago

4. City, State or county..............Washington D.C.

5. Boy Name:..............................Wiglaf

6. Girl Name: ............................. Wysandra

7. Occupation: ...........................Welder

8. Something you wear:........... wristwatch

9. Food: ......................................watermelon

10. Found in a bathroom:....... washcloth

11. Reason for Being Late:.......... weather

12. Something you shout:.........WILSON!!!!!!

13. Animal:................................. Welsh Green (harry potter)

14. Word to describe you:............. [werd].

1. What is your last name ?...............Parker

2. 4 letter word...................park

3. Vehicle: ................................ Porsche

4. City, State or county..............Peru

5. Boy Name:..............................Phylus

6. Girl Name: ............................. Pan

7. Occupation: ...........................Parole Officer

8. Something you wear:........... pants

9. Food: ......................................panini

10. Found in a bathroom:....... paper towels

11. Reason for Being Late:.......... pancreatic cancer

12. Something you shout:.........PAUSE

13. Animal:................................. phoenix

14. Word to describe you:............. pangea?

bootleg.

pirated movies stored on my ps3 as of 8.2.09 (sorted by import date):

Donnie Darko

The Lion King (Special Edition)

The Dark Knight

Pineapple Express

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Iron Man

The Incredible Hulk

Taken

Tropic Thunder

The Day The Earth Stood Still

Transformers

Across The Universe

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Coraline

The Hangover

Madea Goes to Jail

Observe and Report

Confessions of a Shopaholic

The Soloist

Night at the Museum 2

17 Again

i'm really glad my grandma is incapable of distinguishing sober me from high-off-my-ass me. apparently nothing was amiss when i held a conversation with her in my adam west voice, even as i was frying chicken and refusing all advice from her other than "use flour". everytime she made a suggestion i'd stop everything, turn to her, and say "no...i don't want that." then resume normal activity like i didn't just attempt to qualify for a daytime emmy.

[in related news...]

i think i do my best cooking in space. the combination of me being this creative genius, coupled with the raw driving power of the munchies makes for some interesting meal decisions. within this past week i've made buffalo wings, taco salad, mashed potatoes (with light cheese and olive oil), teriyaki chicken burgers, ice cream with nesquick powder in it, garlic and cheese-crusted pan-fried chicken breasts, and a salad with peach-mango applesauce instead of salad dressing. now, to be honest, the most i remember about any of this is cooking it and ravaging it. because i'm me, i know it tasted good, i just don't remember actually tasting it, seeing as i was in a voracious stupor during.

[unrelated news...]

i think em has the potential to ruin mariah carey's career. i mean, he's done it before (remember mr. atkins? yea, MURDAAAAAAA'D), albeit with the aid of two fellow hip-hop juggernauts. still, mariah seems to be an easy target: lyrical prowess >> vocal prowess. eminem's lyrics are on point. period. mariah "see right through you like you're bathing in windex" carey? not so much..."but she can sing!"

yea, let's see her sing her way out of this one.

[outty].