patience is waning.
I. WANT. TO. LEAVE.

i'm starting to complain like a woman.

and when i say "like a woman", i mean like the WORST kind of woman. so
ladies, if that ain't you, please douche out that excess sand and move
along.

=D.

saw a gator-mouth bitch on twitter and thought "daaaaamn, you......BOLD!!"
i was gonna (still in my head) say 'ugly', but then i realised that i
wouldn't be caught smilin in a pic until after some SERIOUS dental
reconstruction. fuck some braces, that hardcore headgear shit runs
away when i smile. shit, i don't like to smile around people i've
known all my life. i even catch myself doing that thing celie did in
the color purple sometimes.
about the mouth: me and the cloverfield monster are like brothers. say
cheese? bitches say AAAAHHH like i'm a real monster.

i'm trying to be funny to disguise the fact that my self-esteem is at
an all-time low.
i don't think it's workin.
now i'm starting to feel a little dr. phil-ic.

i'm sleepy and my emotions are breaching the surface. let me take my ass to bed.
i'll have to bury them hoes deeper tomorrow.

[excerpt].cardiac soldier: ransom.

she looked at my right arm. about ten thin parallel scars ran
horizontally down my wrist, and four vertical ones sat atop my bicep.

her: what are those?
me: i dunno. it depends on how the day is going.
her: what do you mean?
me: i mean... well, like on a good day, they're a reminder: don't take
life too seriously.
her: and on the bad ones?
me: blueprints.

i'm writing a screenplay. well i started writing one a while ago. i'm
continuing a screenplay.

why?

ain't SHIT else to do. at all.

social outing rates.

grandma - at least twice a week.
mom - 2 to 5 times a week.
me - once a month…two if i'm lucky.

that'sgoddamnmuhfuckinSHAME.

about:

the girl you REEEEAAAAALLLY like reluctantly gives you her number.

if, by the third call, the girl still asks who you are, it is to be
concluded that
A) she hasn't bothered to save your number
B) she never intends to call you,
and C) based on the first two, she probably isn't all too interested
in you anyway.

this isn't a "back away slowly" scenario, this is a "run like you're a
black person that just saw another black person spontaneously burst
into a fearful sprint somewhere near you" scenario. cut your losses
and keep it moving, for your heart, pride, and wallet's sake.