dessert or disaster.

kinda long-ish, this one...just sayin.

my arms are fucking KILLING me. i decided to start lifting weights again. it's not that i'm necessarily trying to build more muscle, i'm exceptionally strong already. it's kind of just a preventative measure against the atrophy that has more-than-likely occurred in the months that have passed since i last looked at a freeweight or a weight bench. but yea...so yesterday i decide to do 10 sets of 10 curls with 20s, which went pretty well, didn't leave me panting or gasping for air. didn't even burn or anything, that is, until i woke up this morning. pain. beyond. fucking. pain. i guess i should've done more to prepare myself...a few weaker sets, some stretches...noooooooo, i just pick up the damn weights and start pumping away. 

EPIC FAILURE. 

i wish i had some epsolm salt. or a time machine...damn.

on another menu...

juniors took the graduation test today, while us seniors got to sit in homeroom for 3 hours doing JACK SHIT. what's even worse is that when i missed the bus this morning i actually walked to school in a hurry. like a jackass. the second half of the day was completely and totally opposite in comparison to the first half for, in my opinion, two reasons: numero uno being that everyone's got pent up energy from being stuck in one class for 3 hours, and number two being that i got my hair cut this past saturday and it's the first time anyone's seen anything besides my characteristically awful hair in over a year. i swear, for 3 hours all i heard is "omg you cut your hair!", and "kev-o!! you chopped it all off!", and "omg i'm so proud of you! you look so mature!", and the oddest: "you cut your hair?! THANK YOU!"...uh...you're welcome? w/e...

ok, done with that...on yet ANOTHER menu (greedy today, aren't we?)

i had that dream again. i mentioned it in a blog last year (i'll link it if i remember to once i'm done here.). it's the dream where i'm like, completely totally happy, only to wake up and realize that i have nothing. it's not that i have nothing, per se. but in comparison to the happiness i dreamed of, the nothingness i woke up to was a icy, crushing nothing. i feel hollow. i miss the happy feeling, it was damn near tangible. seriously... i woke up with a smile on my face. hell i almost twittered about it. but then i looked around and noticed my bed was empty. then i looked around and saw my room, clothes, tv...then i just sighed and kind of said "oh." in my head and left the room. i would've gone back to sleep but i didn't (and still don't) wanna risk waking up like that again. i mean, it's rare that i wake up happy, but to wake up SOOO unhappy is so depressing. i don't like depression anymore. too much of it i guess. i need some good weed.

here's me last week, when i was taking pics for my Strawberry Fields Forever concept (the picture that made the cut is featured on my billboard, twitter, myspaces, profile default, etc...billboard to the right----->>)

and here's me today, i took this about 6 hours ago. makes me look younger. i wonder if i'm gonna get ID'ed now. i don't look 18 to me now.

yea i know, neither of those are the best of pictures, i was just bored today, and the other was a reject anyway so uh...yea.

.[gzma]