late.

"i set my clocks early 'cause i know i'm always late"

i'm not supposed to carry last year's baggage into the new year. that's a bad beginning. i've successfully carried my depression (once character-building, it has slowly grown into a character-crippling, slow-rolling wave of nightmarish hell.), my unrequited longing, my affinity for the just-slightly unattainable, my overwhelming apathy, and my unparalleled lateness. it seems that, without fail, i am (and will always be) just off the key of time. whether mentally, physically, or otherwise, i'm always just a little bit off. anytime i seem to get ahead, the moment i realize that i am in such a state, whatever driving force at the helm of my late state kicks it in to 5th and aptly resolves the error. i keep telling myself that i'm just making shit up, but examples are popping up weeds and in a bad way. slow to realize, "oh you just missed ____", "she said what? when? oh."
fuck. my. life.

happy new year.
hm, a bit late for that.
go figure.