bueno.

so...i'm still in exile, i don't really know anyone here, i'm alone most of the time, i'm not going to college, most of my friends aren't picking up or calling me back, i've got about $27 to my name, and my grandma's got me baking cakes for her so that i'm not sitting idle in the house...o, and my 19th birthday's next thursday. y'know what, though? I'M STILL GOOD. why? because i say so, basically. i figure if i keep telling myself that shit's fine, i'll eventually believe it. so, everything's good. hey, i woke up this morning...i look at that as a positive now. i mean, i got video games, and tv, and movies if i get bored. not to mention the pc. if i get tired of that i can go outside and wander aimlessly or work out in the garage. my plan of action is to basically keep my mind busy. stopping to dwell seems to only lead to depressive thoughts and reverse progress.

[next...]

so christmas is this friday...and that's pretty much all there is to it. needless to say, i'm miles away from being in the christmas spirit. i mean, i'm making ebenezer look like saint nick, mentally. i'm not really bothered by that, though. i'm just kinda hoping i don't get anything for christmas (not a farfetched thought). i didn't get anybody SHIT, and i hate getting shit on christmas without having something to give back in return...it's awkward.

alright...time to get busy...been sitting down too long.