boobs.3

i like how my lyrics make people go apeshit sometimes. i'm sittin in class on friday with a bunch of underclassmen [fuckin juniors...] droppin verses and they are DUMBING OUT. especially this one dancin chick that had a pair of (all-natural!) volleyballs fighting to break out of her shirt. she was literally hittin me in the face with her titties...like, just shovin them suckers in my face.

haaaappy.

[werd].

badnews.

let's face facts: this late in the game, even if she was as into me as i was into her, we wouldn't have time to cultivate a healthy relationship. after a lot of thought, weed, and music, i can almost be okay with that. with all that said though, just being friends with her is like the dopest to me. waaay better than better than nothing. gotta remember to bring her Bessie, this little stuffed cow i picked up for her birthday. i keep forgetting to bring it because... well, uh... i'm me.

and i forget things.

often.

on another menu...

my guidance counselor called me into the office wednesday morning with THE worst news a senior would ever want to hear. it's ok though, i'm just gonna ride this bitch out and take care of business. some weed would be lovely though. apparently my cousin's got something goin on in her life that's got her all dperessed too, cuz she hit me up last night with the same message i was gonna hit her up with today.

transcript:

Her: Hey, cousin.

Me: Hey family

Her: What are you up to?

Me: Bout to watch Nightmare Before Christmas for the 3rd night in a row

Her: I love that movie!... I was wondering, though...Do you have any green left? My life is really fucked right about now and I just wanna get blazed... I'm fuckin depressed.

Me: Wow, i was gonna hit you up with the same message tomorrow. I finished mine on tuesday

Her: Oh, Damn! [her boyfriend/my dealer]'s gone too.. Oh, shit! We're two screwed weed heads!

Me: Lol, pretty much. I'm hittin [my best friend/other dealer] up when i get my check though.

Her: True, dat... It's so sad...[her boyfriend/my dealer] ment to leave me some, when he left, but he forgot and I forgot to remind him...God Damn it!

Me: Aw Dude, that's super terrible.

there's more but it's pretty much irrelevant to this posting. it just went on like that for another 10 minutes.

meanwhile, on the other side of town...

i'm about to go murder this fish and macaroni combo that my lovely grandmother expertly put together. be jealous, shit's delicious.

[werd].

@peace.

[werd].

a title long enough to be included in consideration for the next fall out boy track, yet having nothing whatsoever to do with fall out boy.

i'm  zonin. 

the lonely stoner's alone-in it again. 

typical. 

still waiting on my pen and notebook to return, so i stare at the stars til my corneas burn. 

blindsighted. 

-sided. 

it's kristin's birthday today.

how can she be the girl that got away when she's still right in front of me??

that's a thinker right there.

i think that's the exposure of flaw within myself.

i think.

i mean, if she's still here, how can she get away?

gotta be a fault on my part.

right?

celestial theory.

"i keep telling myself i'm living the good life, then myself tells me to stop lying to it."

music is painting an ethereal picture of colored plasma in a not-so subtle nebula in the throes of a cosmic revolution. i saw a picture of the hand in space and my mind took off: what if, when when we die, our spirits ascend and retain consciousness in the stars? it would explain the hand, a spirit close to home possibly. in theory, it could prove to be an explanation for the vastness of the universe. as human beings, a planet is the ideal place to keep safe harbour; but consider the spirit. what better place for a free spirit to explore than the vastness of the universe? imagine traveling at the speed of light: stars like marbles in your hand, supernovas like fireworks, hands illuminating solar clouds to shed light on one of the darker corners of space...

i threw a notebook and a pen across the universe, 

hopefully they come back with a story to tell.

[werd].

mo[u]rning.

i woke up this morning, devoid of energy, sweaty cuz i cut the fan off, and with a headache cuz of what i added to my last dash from the stash last night. don't ask what it is, just too stupid. needless to say, i went back to sleep. i woke up about an hour ago, and it feels like morning again. tired, sweaty, and with a headache. i'm still pissed that i didn't have the money for force unleashed (THIS is why mothers aren't always ideal for money management assistance. she owes me.), but i think i'm gonna play the demo for a while, then some GTA IV for a little of the old "ultra violence". lol, i watched A Clockwork Orange a few times the other day, now some of the terminologies are in my head (worst one being 'viddy', which i almost said out loud once, yikes).

now add the [u]...

my 2nd cousin's father died last night. it's horrible, but i guess not as bad cuz she had a good 30+ years with him. that's more than some people can say about their paternal experiences, myself included. according to my grandmother, my mom's on her way to pick her up. i guess she needs to get away and clear her head. i know how it can be, especially when you just talked to the person a day or so before it happened. THAT'S the worst. i personally don't remember much about him, except that he played the sax at my 3rd cousin's (intensely boring, if i must say) wedding. still, if everyone's this sad about it, he must've been a good guy, so i'm sorry to hear he's gone. one thing that's pissing me off right now though is my grandmother, who has taken it upon herself to call EVERYONE UNDER THE SUN about this guy's passing. idk what the fuck drives her to do it. when the fire happened, she called people. kinda makes sense, except for the fact that she pretty much made it a week's goal to tell everyone in (and out of) the family that 'kevin started a fire'. same thing happened when my grandpa (her ex-husband, father of my mother) died. she took it upon herself to call everyone in that fucking phonebook and inform them, while my mother was still crying. it's like "comfort her? no, i've gotta tell people about this!". she doesn't do it in a sad way either, it's all gossip-y and annoying as fuck. she's doing it now, only this really has NOTHING to do with her. directly, at least. it's one thing to gossip about immediate family happenings, but now she's stepping outside of the box. if i hear another "girl you know john died last night?!" my head's gonna pop, and i'm gonna disconnect the phone line.

[werd].

joy.

a little kid purchases new power rangers.

[the joys of translucent plastic].

pornstar walks into a shop and purchases a colored glass dildo.

[the joys of translucent glass].

[werd].

ink.

another lengthy addition...

it took me the LONGEST to think of a decent enough tattoo idea. i knew it'd be something music-related...though i was thinking of an instrument, or some tricked out music note. then it clicked, why not lyrics? the more i thought about it, the more i liked it. i likened it to be in the same vein of thought as those that tattoo scriptures on themselves, only i like the lyrics idea better. location-wise, i'm thinking upper arm. i'd put it on my forearm like most guys put scripture, but it's easier to cover up depending on the job i may have in the future. of course, if this music thing takes flight, all bets are off. i mean, i'm not gonna go all-out like lil wayne, but my arms will be noticeably covered. so anyhow, i've got the idea, and i've got the location. all i need now is the actual lyric, and therein lies the problem. it's not that i can't think of any good verses or lyrics, it's that i can think of too many. here are some candidates, a lot of which are from Fall Out Boy. that's mainly because one of the main reasons i listen to FOB is for the lyrics. but uh...yea, here:

"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

they slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy, are drifting through my opened mind

Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om"

-The Beatles, Across The Universe

"You see everybody is somebody

But nobody wants to be themselves

And if I ever wanted to understand me

I'd have to talk someone else

But every little bit helps"

-Gnarls Barkley, Who Cares?

"Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see..."

-The Beatles, Strawberry Fields Forever

"Hand over my heart, gun to my head,

I swear to god I'm through with this.

I am the worst liar I know.

It's not gossip if it's the truth,

Sick of always writing songs for you to slit your wrists to"

-Fall Out Boy, Hand of God

"Life's just the pacecar of death

only less diligent

and when the two collide

it's no coincidence

the lights are on and everybody's home

The only thing suicidal here is the door

We had a good run

even i have to admit

Life's just a pay stub on debt

Only less diligent"

-Fall Out Boy, She's My Winona

"Anywhere you sit you can see the sun,

Unfortunately on this island I'm the only one.

Same rules apply on a rainy day,

and it's not such a pretty place to be.

It just rains, and rains, and rains on me.

'Send a simple sign I can understand'*

Then a flower grew out that sand.

Before you knew it, I was back out on that sea.

Now I don't mind it so much,

Because as long as I'm not there

Anywhere is St. Elsewhere"

-Gnarls Barkley, St. Elsewhere

*i altered this line because, hell, it's going on my arm. potentially.

"Music Is My Religion"

-Jimi Hendrix, from an interview.

"Music's the only thing that makes sense anymore. 

Play it loud enough, it keeps the demons at bay."

-M.L. McCoy as "JoJo" in Across The Universe.

"Go spin the circles for me, wound relentlessly around the words we used to sling.

O, such torturous things, always chewing up the only ones I ever mean.

If you're going then go."

-Panic at the Disco, From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins

"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize two outta three ain’t bad."

-Fall Out Boy, I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me + You)

"I'm a stitch away from making it,

and a scar away from falling apart.

Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate.

Kiss away young kills and thrills 

on the mouths of all my friends."

-Fall Out Boy, The (After) Life of the Party

the gray part of the quote is a 'maybe' addition. i mean, it's part of the song, i just can't decide if i really want it or not.

"Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?"

-Fall Out Boy, song title

there are more that i could've added, and may add later, but i'll work on weeding this down first. all of these are quotes that i- (A)love, (B)could live with forever, and (C)have special meaning for. a few of these are likely to be selected over the following years, i just can't decide which i want now. i'm thinking either the first one (Across The Universe), or the one by M.L. McCoy as 'JoJo'. depending on price, i may get it next week. we'll see.

in other news...

i want some cakesters. rice milk or not...i'm goin in on some. gotta finish watching A Clockwork Orange as well. also, ART SUPPLIES ARE FUCKING EXPENSIVE!!! i mean, FUCK man...

eh, i'll talk about it later. i tire of this screen.

outty.

[werd].